This blog originally appeared on Exponent II. Click here to view the original post.

“Those in favour, please show by a raise of hands.”
Counting, recounting, recording.
“Those opposed, please show by a raise of hands.”
Counting, recounting, recording.
“The yeses take it.”

I breathed a sigh of relief–not because my preference was passed but because despite the strong words shared on both sides of the issue being voted on, everyone seemed to be okay. No one stormed out. No one was called unfaithful. The vote was noted, we closed the meeting, put the chairs away and gave one another hugs over doughnuts and over-cooled coffee.

After years of raising my hand to sustain new callings, church officers and to show a vote of thanks, I’ll admit that my first experience voting in a church business meeting was exciting and unnerving. To this point in my religious life, voting in church had largely been a point of formality. The bishop, stake president or general authority read a name and we sustained them. I never saw a contrary vote in my 30 years of attending LDS meetings. I know they exist but they’re certainly rare.

But right here, right now, voting carried some weight. I was putting my own opinions and judgement out in the open. As a member of less than a year, my vote mattered as much as everyone else’s—old, young, convert and lifetime member. And I’ll admit that the thought of conflict seemed suddenly scary. I didn’t want anyone to be hurt and I didn’t want to be wrong.

It was watching this process one year ago that fueled my excitement about being part of a church again. I realized that I didn’t just want to attend, I wanted to have a bit of skin in the game. As I watched my fellow congregants raise their hands for or against motions regarding everything from the election of a pastor to the adoption of a budget, it was exciting and a bit overwhelming to realize that no one person had all the answers. No pastor, no bishop, not even a prophet, could do this alone. Revelation and the inspiration that prompted it was a communal act. Every member was entitled and empowered to a part in it. And I wanted to part of that.
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I try to be careful to not draw too many comparisons between my experiences growing up in the LDS faith and my experiences now in Community of Christ. Both continue to teach me to draw deep from the well of faith, to aim for goodness and to practice mercy. But as I raised my hand and voice on a touchy and controversial matter, I wish I could have told my budding Mormon feminist self that there would come a day in my life when conflict and difference of opinion at church would be a sign of involvement rather than disobedience or hardheartedness.  God has granted all of us a measure of the Spirit with hands and heart for building Zion. We are best served when we recognize the unique contributions, experiences and opinions of one another and not only dare to do right, but also dare to be vulnerable, mistaken, passionate and even gloriously wrong. We’ll be okay. And then we’ll end with hugs, doughnuts and over-cooled coffee.

Dear Amy (or Amy Lynne as some family will continue to call you for quite some time),

You made a big decision on the day that you chose to be baptized. You were excited and a little nervous. Your grandfather came and spoke of how his father journeyed from Denmark with your great-grandmother to join the saints out west. Your father performed the ordinance and the patriarchs of your family joined together to confirm you as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, all the while sharing stories of faith and sacrifice. On that day you joined your story with theirs.

I remember how you wanted to be so sure that you were wearing all white that you were anxious the gold metal on your hair ties was not acceptable before God. This seemingly insignificant yet scrupulous concern would become a theme throughout your youth and young adult life. You would often feel that there was some inescapable reason that you were not worthy, never good enough. At some points, that little nagging feeling, though you never could place it, would become overwhelming.

You will have the best of friends from church as you grow up. Together you’ll go to dances, make music together and look up at the stars and talk about the wonders of creation. Your baptism day paved the way for you to have this near-idyllic childhood filled with mentors and friends. It won’t always be sunshine and rainbows but you’ll never lack for trustworthy people to lean on in times of need.

You will graduate university, marry in the temple and have children. (This isn’t the point of my letter but they’re beautiful. They will be your whole world and you theirs). You will make mistakes but your relationship with God will drive your life choices. When you feel scared or overwhelmed, you’ll lean on that faith to get through.

This is the harder part of the story—there will come a day when you question if you made the right choice on that baptism day. Your faith will change. A lot. The world will be bigger and brighter and full of more wonder and exciting mysteries, but it will also be less sure, less secure and the answers you once saw laid out before you will now come only one step at a time. It will be painful. It will also be beautiful. You will spend a lot of nights crying into the dark wondering if that God you were so sure was there can actually hear you. Your prayers will change. You will change.

Which is how we get to today. You see, today I took a bigger-than-normal step. I was confirmed into a different church. I know that probably hurts and at your young age, it seems inconceivable that you would ever leave this fold of westward pioneers and I Love to See the Temple. Your faith is so strong and your spirit unbreakable. These are your people and you simply wouldn’t leave them.

On Friday evening, November 18, John Hamer, Pastor of the Toronto Community of Christ congregation gave a presentation entitled, "There's More than One Kind of Mormon: A History of Schism in the Latter Day Saint Movement" in Calgary. The event was free and open to the public.

When I walked in to the Friday evening presentation I was delighted to see so many new faces of folks from across the Restoration Movement and beyond. More still, I was fascinated by the unique perspectives informed by the respective faith backgrounds in the room (Mormons, Community of Christ, Evangelicals, and more). The rich sense of curiosity was exciting, and it was wonderful to connect with - and learn more about - individuals interested in our narrative and/or heritage.

Many in attendance knew and/or recognized John's name (or his voice) from the countless podcasts he has appeared on, including: Mormon Stories, Project Zion, Rational Faith, Mormon Expression, Feminist Mormon Housewives, and Infants on Thrones. Equipped with evocative slides, John's presentation was loaded with eye-opening information, and those in attendance easily followed John's overview of the schism within the Latter Day Saint Movement. 

As the event organizer, I was thrilled to see so many interested in this topic, and in talking with many of the attendees, most seemed quite invigorated by the dialogue. As our congregation continues to identify methods of meaningful outreach, I am convinced that by hosting events focused on education, we will emerge as a trusted leader many can count on as we seek to fill a need for many seeking answers. 

The Calgary Community of Christ congregation is grateful to John Hamer for continuing to be invested in our success and for his willingness to share his ministry.

Below is the full recorded presentation from Friday evening. Feel free to share.